hello world

I was inspired by KS to start a blog, to scream unapologetically into the void of the internet. I'm gonna try and type my posts without hitting the backspace (with the exception of typos) because I wanna try and be as authentic as possible.

I had my doubts about starting a blog because (1) what if someone I knew stumbled upon this and very pervertedly indulged themselves in the raw insides of my mind (and, knowing this, how would I then be unfiltered, honest, and fully myself on MY own blog??); and (2) what would I do if this entire blog were to be wiped clean??? (well I guess it would be wiped clean for me, but, as with everything on the internet, little footsteps of my thoughts shall remain scattered in the depths of binary, i suppose).

With the above concerns in mind, I've decided to start this blog with two rules for myself:

1) No telling others about this -- so much of my life is dictated by the perennial worry of what others will think, of how others will react, of how I am perceived by others, etc etc. And, as much as I try to mitigate this and try to be fully and truly myself, I am still -- consciously and subconsciously -- curating the way I present myself to others... and I don't want that to come in the way of my writing and expression, which are literally the two things most incongruous with inauthenticity. I wanna be honest with myself, and challenge myself to document my life FOR MYSELF, and not to live life to be packaged and curated into a product to feed my consumer-esque follower base (a not-so-humble Ninety on my spam).

2) Little to no censorship. Well of course there are things better left in my head and off the internet, and, as poetic as it'll be to chuck and stuff chunks of my life into these little ridges of the internet -- a no-man's land of sorts -- I still fear the big data companies and the slight off-chance that someone I know finds this page. Other than that, there's great meaning and whimsy I find in projecting my little voice in this unbeknownst corner of the internet.

Typing this came so much more naturally to me than it usually would've. It really does make a difference when I am firm with myself that this is a mischievous lil' personal SECRET that shall receive no audience. I'm loving this!!

March 8, 2026 at 12:31 AM